DO NOT BE AFRAID OF LETTING GOD SPEAK INTO YOUR LIFE
Would I Make a Good Priest?
I didn’t always want to be a priest. I had wanted to be a priest as a kid, but the desire faded away as I grew. By the time I was applying to university through QTAC in 2012, I definitely did not want to be a priest. I wanted to get married and work either as an engineer or industrial designer and recall being a little anxious that God might have other plans.
My time discerning between engineering and industrial design was a time of confusion and uncertainty. Many voices were offering conflicting advice, and they all seemed correct. Some people said, “Do what you love!” other more practical people said, “do what brings in the money!” Still, others said, “God wants what you want!” To cut a long story short, I gave one course a go and found neither of the two careers were realistic options for me. It was a time of dissatisfaction.
That dissatisfaction, however, opened me up to letting God speak his Good News into my life. I visited the vocations office and various discernment events and was surprised at how much priesthood resonated with me. The things I loved best about industrial design and engineering - that they brought joy and comfort into people’s lives – were things that I could do on a deeper level as a priest. God didn’t annihilate my passions; in fact, he deepened them.
I was fortunate to have chatted with a certain seminarian on one of my Quo Vadis weekends (he is now a priest in the Brisbane Archdiocese). I asked him if he was excited about getting ordained. He responded by saying that he didn’t see himself as being in the seminary to be ordained but to actively discern if God was calling him to the priesthood. Though I wasn’t afraid of stepping into the seminary, I do remember thinking then, “so I won’t be locked in if I give it a go!” Thus, to discern well and leave the seminary journey would have been as much a success as discerning to stay on. So I entered Canali House in 2014 and joined the seminary the following year.
I suppose a challenge I encountered during my time in the seminary was dealing with the question of whether I would make a good priest or not. It was not a crushing concern, but it crossed my mind on several occasions, especially when I became conscious of the areas in my life which still needed growth. The turning point came during my thirty-day retreat in my fifth year. In that time, I got to explore with Jesus all the underlying concerns, assumptions and baggage I was carrying in me. I saw myself more clearly, let go of a lot, and trusted God to continue leading me as I went out into ministry.
To you, the reader, I offer brotherly encouragement. Do not be afraid of letting God speak into your life. To paraphrase St. Augustine, God is closer to us than we are to ourselves. A good discernment begins with daily prayer. Also, remember not to discern alone! Find a priest or religious sister and journey together to explore what God and your own heart is saying to you. If even that is too much, I encourage you to at least pray for the desire to hear and heed God’s call.