I REALISED THAT JESUS WAS THE REAL DEAL AND THAT I COULD HAVE A PERSONAL FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM, JUST LIKE A BEST FRIEND.
I was brought up in a Catholic family as the middle child between two sisters. My parents are both from Malaysia, and they met here in Australia. Faith at home was praying before meals, praying before bedtime and going to mass on the weekend. I had faith, I believed in God, but I did not quite understand what that meant. Growing up, I never really considered the Priesthood.
I was at a youth camp in year 10 when I had my first spiritual awakening. The most exciting part of the camp was experiencing the power and love of Jesus for the first time. This happened during a time of reflection we were invited to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. At first, I told the priest the little things, but finally, I poured out my heart and told him everything. I looked up to see the priest’s reaction, he just looked at me, smiled very gently and warmly, said the prayer of absolution and wished me well.
As I walked back to my seat, I remember feeling a wave of peace come over me. It finally all made sense. I realised that Jesus was the real deal and that I could have a personal friendship with him, just like a best friend.
After high school, I completed two years of missionary work with NET Ministries Australia. I then continued pursuing my dream to become a scientist by studying a Bachelor of Science which I completed in 2016.
However, I felt like something was missing. My time on NET had really deepened my faith and made me realise that it was not automatic that you got married, had kids. There were other ways to serve. I wanted to find out what this whole priesthood thing was for myself. So I had a chat with the Vocations Office, and they recommended that I move into Canali House, a house of discernment of men thinking about the Priesthood. I spent two years in Canali house discerning God’s call for me.
I remember towards the end of my second year at Canali, I thought to myself: “Gerard, you can’t discern forever.” I remember still being torn between becoming a good dad and a good priest. So I said a sincere prayer asking God to show me which path I should take. I reflected on my life journey from high school until my current moment.
The fact that I was still considering Priesthood for two years in Canali House without any clear sign opposing it, made me sway in favour of the Priesthood. I still felt compelled to give Priesthood a go and knew that I would be discerning in the Seminary anyway so I went ahead with it.
I knew deep down that I would be running away from God and live in regret if I didn’t give the Seminary a go. So I gave it a go and here I am three years later, still on the journey and still discerning in the Seminary, but now I feel even more convicted that I’m supposed to be a priest.
In the Seminary, we do not pray 24/7, we do not know the bible back to front, nor do we have our lives in perfect order. Just like Jesus’ disciples, we are very ordinary people who have responded to the call of God in an extraordinary way.